Freelancing with social anxiety can feel like an uphill battle. Building a thriving freelance career often depends on networking and building relationships—activities that can be overwhelming if you struggle with social anxiety.
The good news? You’re not alone (I’ve been there!), and there are ways to manage the fear and discomfort so it doesn’t hold you back. In this article, I’ll share what I’ve learned about navigating social anxiety as a freelancer, including tips to make networking less daunting and more effective. Let’s dive in!
Is it introversion or social anxiety?
Raise your hand if any of this feels familiar:
- The thought of networking makes you break out in a cold sweat.
- You’d rather do almost anything else than network.
- Networking is one of the reasons you’ve hesitated to start freelancing.
- You go back and forth between wanting to meet potential clients and wanting to hide under your covers until next year.
Is it just me? Or do you feel like networking is as fun as a surprise trip to the dentist?
For a long time, I dreaded networking events. I’d go, feeling anxious and out of place, and best-case scenario, it was less awkward than I feared. Worst-case? I’d be stuck in a corner, clutching my drink, avoiding eye contact, and praying no one would notice me too much. (Seriously, I once left a networking event after someone correctly identified that I was the most nervous person in the room.)
I suffered through agonizing networking events until I realized I was making a huge error. You see, I thought my dislike of networking events was due to introversion, so I thought there was nothing I could do about it. After reframing my understanding, I discovered there was a lot I could do.
Understanding the difference
It turns out that what I thought was introversion was actually social anxiety. Here’s how they differ:
- Introverts might avoid socializing to manage their energy. It’s not about fearing judgment; it’s about needing downtime to recharge.
- Social anxiety involves avoiding social interactions because of fear—fear of judgment, embarrassment, or doing something awkward that will make everyone in the room laugh at them.
Introversion doesn’t need to be “overcome” in freelancing; it just needs managing. But social anxiety? That can hold you back in a career where relationships are everything.
If you’ve been defining yourself as introverted but secretly wish you could enjoy networking more, take a moment to reframe your thinking. It could make a huge difference.
Why I made the introversion error
I took personality test after personality test (of course they’re the kind found on random, questionably scientific websites), each of which confirmed what I believed about myself: I was highly introverted and would therefore never enjoy networking.
But something about that label didn’t sit right. Sure, I hated networking events, but I love being around people. I enjoy hearing new ideas and learning about others, and genuinely feel energized by good conversations. If I spend more than a night alone, I start frantically texting friends to make plans.
Eventually, I revisited those personality tests—but with a new approach.
The first time I took them, I answered every question based on the worst-case scenario. For example:
Q: Would you rather be at a party with 10 people you know but aren’t close to or stay home reading a book?
Me: Let’s see… I’d feel awkward and anxious at the party. I’d probably say the wrong thing, humiliate myself, and end up stuck by the snack table with a bland casserole and warm wine, hoping someone talks to me. No thanks. I’ll take the book.
Looking back, who wouldn’t choose the book if the party is framed as a guaranteed disaster?
The next time I took the tests, I reframed my answers. I imagined how I’d respond if I knew there was no chance of embarrassment, judgment, or awkwardness.
My answers changed—and so did my results.
Suddenly, I wasn’t highly introverted anymore. I was slightly extroverted—just over 50%. It wasn’t a dramatic shift, but it made me see myself differently.
That reframing helped me realize something important: I wasn’t deeply introverted. I was dealing with social anxiety. And understanding that difference changed everything.
Signs of social anxiety
Social anxiety often shows up through cognitive and emotional signs, such as an intense fear of judgment or embarrassment and persistent self-consciousness in social settings. You may struggle with negative self-talk, imagining worst-case scenarios like saying something awkward or being perceived poorly. This fear can lead to anticipatory anxiety, where you worry excessively about an upcoming event, sometimes for days or weeks beforehand.
If you think anticipatory anxiety makes the situation any better, you’ve got another think coming. It makes things a whole lot worse because you’ve built up the anxiety.
While at events, you may experience physical signs such as sweating or trembling, a racing heart (I once had my watch warn me my heart was too fast at a networking event!), and an upset stomach. You may also rely on distractions to avoid interaction and have difficulty speaking. Overanalyzing past interactions and dwelling on how others might have perceived you are also common, creating a cycle of stress and avoidance.
Freelancing with social anxiety
Recognizing my social anxiety allowed me to find ways to manage it. While introversion is a natural part of someone’s personality that doesn’t need “fixing,” social anxiety can be worked through—and doing so has made a world of difference in how I approach freelancing and networking. Here’s what helped:
- Focus on others. Focus on building connections, instead of selling yourself. Ask people about their work and be genuinely interested. Offer helpful thoughts even if they aren’t related to what you do. Have a list of questions prepared so you can generate discussion with others.
- Practice talking about yourself. Rehearse with friends so you feel less tongue-tied when someone asks about your business.
- Embrace the discomfort. Confidence doesn’t come from knowing everything will go perfectly. It comes from knowing you’ll be okay even if things go wrong. Truly, there is very little that could happen at a networking event that would derail your entire career.
- Build up to it. Start with lower-stakes situations, such as small gatherings where you know most people. Have achievable goals, such as introducing yourself to one person.
Remember, almost everyone has awkward moments. They rarely leave a lasting impression on other people. The less pressure you place on yourself, the more comfortable you’ll feel.
Read more of my tips on networking as a freelancer
Networking still isn’t my favourite thing, but I no longer hide from it. I’ve even found bright spots—like meeting amazing people.
If this resonates, remember: you’re not alone, and freelancing with social anxiety is possible. It doesn’t have to hold you back. Take small steps, and you might find networking isn’t as bad as it seems.
Want more tools to help you grow as a freelancer? Check out my free guide on optimizing your LinkedIn profile to rank in search results and attract potential clients. It’s a great way to build connections online and make networking less intimidating.
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Joining the waitlist today will give you access to special pricing and benefits when the community launches. I can’t wait to help you find the support and connections you need to thrive in your freelancing journey.