One of the most appealling things about freelancing—the thing that draws so many of us in—is the promise of freedom.
- Freedom to choose your clients.
- Freedom to decide your schedule.
- Freedom to say yes to work that lights you up and no to the kind that drains you.
But here’s the truth: if you got into freelancing to pick the projects you work on—but say yes to everything that comes your way—you’re not actually in control of your business. You’re reacting, not deciding. You’re back in a place where other people’s needs and timelines take priority over your own. You’ve just swapped a manager for a handful of clients who all think their work is the most urgent.
If you love the idea of time flexibility, but you’re working evenings, weekends, and holidays to keep up, you don’t have flexibility—you have a business that never lets you rest. And if part of the appeal of freelancing was the possibility of unlimited income, but you’re constantly undervaluing your work, undercharging for your time, or taking on low-paying gigs to stay busy, you’re not maximizing your potential—you’re keeping yourself stuck.
This isn’t a personal failing. It’s something many of us fall into, especially early on. We’re scared to turn down work. We worry we won’t get asked again. We tell ourselves we’re building momentum, that we’ll set boundaries later, when things feel more stable.
But the hard truth is: later never comes unless you make space for it. You’ll find yourself hopping from project to project, always saying yes and possibly always feeling burned out or unfulfilled. That’s where freelancing with intention comes in.
Freedom without intention becomes chaos
Real freelance freedom doesn’t come from having a packed schedule or saying yes to everything that pays. It comes from clarity. From knowing what kind of business you want to run, what kind of life you want to live—and being brave enough to make decisions that support that vision, even if they feel uncomfortable in the moment. That’s freelancing with intention.
That means sometimes saying no.
- No to the client who needs something over the long weekend.
- No to the project that sounds exhausting just reading the scope.
- No to the rate that makes you resentful before you’ve even opened the doc.
No can be scary. But it’s also powerful.
So how do you get used to saying no? Start here.
- Name your values. When you know what you stand for—what actually matters to you in your business—it becomes easier to see when a project or client isn’t aligned. It stops being about guilt or fear and becomes about making the best decision for the business you’re building, not just the business you feel stuck in.
- Give yourself scripts. Saying no doesn’t have to mean burning bridges. Practice responses that feel firm but kind. “I don’t have capacity for this right now, but I appreciate you thinking of me.” Or: “This doesn’t align with my current focus, but I’m happy to refer you to someone else.” You don’t have to justify or overexplain.
- Set a policy. You’re a business and businesses are allowed to have policies (okay, humans are too, but we tend to be more comfortable with business policies). Use those policies to set firm boundaries.
- Pause before responding. If you tend to say yes immediately (this is one of my fatal flaws), give yourself a buffer. “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.” This gives you time to check in with yourself before committing to something that doesn’t fit.
- Track the results. Pay attention to what happens when you say no. Did the world fall apart? (Probably not.) Did something better show up a week later that you would’ve had to turn down? (Often.) Use that evidence to build your confidence.
Need help figuring out what to say yes (and no) to?
That’s where values come in. When you know what matters most to you—and how you want your business to feel—it’s easier to make decisions that support the life you’re trying to build, not just the invoices you’re trying to send.
In my Freelancing Values Workbook (yes, it’s free!), I guide you through exercises to define your values and shape your messaging around them—so you can attract clients who are a good fit instead of trying to contort yourself for the wrong ones.
It’s not about being picky or elite. It’s about building a business that actually works for you.
Interested in reading more?
How to get comfortable networking as a freelancer
How to set boundaries with clients
Why do you want to start freelancing?